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There are three ways to end your marriage in Connecticut. Divorce (or Dissolution), Legal Separation, and Annulment. The most common is divorce. That is where the couple decides that they want to end the marriage because they have irreconcilable differences (fancy way of saying they can’t get along) or one or both spouses have committed one of the grounds for divorce. We’ll get into those in another blog. The process begins by one spouse filing a summons and complaint asking for a divorce. In addition to ending the marriage the couple asks the court to address other issues including dividing any assets, debts, figuring out alimony, parenting time and custody. You know, the fun stuff! The divorce can be finalized by the couple coming to an agreement known as an uncontested divorce or if they can’t agree on any or all of the divorce issues then they go to trial and the judge will divorce them after hearing both sides at the trial and issue a judgment addressing those unresolved divorce issues. If the couple meets certain requirements (married less than 9 years, no children, no retirement or pensions, no real estate) then they can get divorced quicker by filing a Non-adversarial divorce which requires the filing of some documents prepared jointly by the couple, filed with the court and if acceptable ruled on by the court resulting in a divorce in about 35 days without the couple having to go before a judge. Legal separation is the same as a divorce except that when it’s over the couple are still legally married. But the couple or court can deal with all of the issues that are addressed in a divorce. After the legal separation is granted the coupled can come back to court later to convert the legal separation to a dissolution of marriage. Finally, a (civil) annulment is the process by which a marriage is recognized by a state court as being void or voidable due to some statutory or common law ground at the time of marriage. A marriage can be annulled in Connecticut for a number of reasons, including: Blood relation: Marriages between close relatives, such as siblings, parents and children, or stepparents and stepchildren, are not legal Bigamy: Marrying someone while already married to another person is illegal Age: A marriage is invalid if one spouse was under the age of consent Mental incompetence: One or both spouses must have the mental capacity to consent to the marriage Health issues: If one spouse fails to disclose a relevant health issue, such as impotence, before the wedding Fraud or duress: If one spouse was tricked or coerced into the marriage Legal defects: If the marriage ceremony was performed by someone who was not authorized or the couple did not have a valid marriage license Concealment: If one spouse conceals a significant aspect of their identity, such as a prior marriage or criminal history Unlike a divorce or legal separation where you don’t have to assert or prove any grounds for divorce, for the court to grant the annulment one spouse has to allege and prove one or more of the statutory or common law grounds. Couples can also get a religious annulment but that has no legal authority to terminate the marriage. We can discuss which option is best depending on your circumstances and goals, and help you through each process. Please contact us to scheduled a consultation to discuss your situation. 

So you and your spouse have made the tough decision that you want to get divorced, but that’s all that you’ve decided (because now you’re not speaking to each other). You’re proactive so you look into some options to get divorced and you come across a handsome attorney’s website that offers divorce mediation. After checking out the website you think divorce mediation will be the best option for you and your spouse. You tell your spouse that you want to set up a consultation for the two of you, but your spouse doesn’t want to come or participate. Now what? It’s definitely preferred that both spouses attend the initial consultation so they can both get an idea of the process, meet the mediator, and have enough information to jointly decide if divorce mediation is right for them. The mediator also needs to evaluate both parties. So in order for the divorce mediation to proceed both parties have to be on board. But, I have had situations where only one spouse attends the initial consultation. It’s not the end of the world. In those instances, the information that is provided during the consultation is relayed to the other spouse and I’ve also let them know that if they have any questions they can reach out to me directly to help them make a decision. Ultimately, if your spouse doesn’t want to participate in the divorce mediation, but you still want to get divorced then one spouse would need to file for the divorce with the court to start the divorce case. From there they have a couple of options: (1) they can represent themselves, (2)hire an attorney, or (3) get limited scope representation. Limited Scope Representation involves the attorney acting like a coach and consultant helping one spouse through each step in the divorce process that they agree to have the attorney help them with. It can be as little as preparing the paperwork to file with the divorce to start the divorce, and/or include preparing and responding to discovery, completing financial affidavits, filing motions for orders, prepping for hearings, and prepping for the final trial, or preparing the final agreement if the couple settle. Our office offers limited scope representation for spouses who are representing themselves but still need some help from an attorney. The Limited Scope Representation model is a great option for controlling the costs associated with a contested divorce. If you are considering alternatives to going it alone and representing yourself, then please give us a call to discuss how Limited Scope Representation can help you navigate the divorce process.

How long will it take to get divorced when using divorce mediation? Divorce mediation is a quicker path to get divorced, and if time is an important factor then you should consider divorce mediation. Once you have started the mediation these are the timeframes you can expect. Each session is about 90 minutest to 2 hours long, max. Trust me, after 2 hours everybody including me are ready to go. Depending on the issues involved, and the parties, they need anywhere from three to six sessions to complete the mediation, reserving the final two sessions for reviewing the agreement, and then signatures, and preparing for the final hearing. But back to the question at hand. How quickly can you get divorced? Well it’s really up to you, and the court. Up to you because the pace that the sessions are scheduled is up to the parties and the mediator’s schedule. They can be scheduled days apart, weeks apart or months apart. It's up to the court because once you file for divorce with the court there is a statutory 90 day waiting period that starts counting from your return date. The return date is the name that the court uses as the divorce start date. So normally at the earliest you can’t get divorced until after the 90 day waiting period. But there is a procedure where if you have an agreement, and if all of your stuff is in order, you can ask the court to waive that 90 day waiting period and get your final hearing date scheduled ASAP. Rome was not built in a day, but you could get divorced in one. Don't believe me, I'll show you. So a couple can walk into the court’s clerk’s office to file their paperwork to start the divorce. Additionally they can request the waiver of the 90 day waiting period. If they have all of the necessary paperwork completed, and the judge grants the waiver than they are ready to get a divorce. If the court could accommodate them that day, then they can get divorced. I bet you didn't believe me. Now, normally, it takes a little more time to get your final date after that waiver is granted depending on the court’s availability, but just know that having an agreement ready and all of your T's crossed and I's dotted gives you the opportunity to expedite your divorce. What I want you to take away is that divorce mediation is: Almost always quicker than litigation. No waiting all day for a hearing to be heard. No wasted time preparing for hearings, depositions, and trials. The pace of divorce mediation is really up to the parties. It can go as fast or as slow as you want. If you wait to complete the mediation before filing for divorce that’s the best scenario because there are procedures in place where you can request an immediate hearing date. But don't worry if you start mediation after you have filed for divorce your mediator can still work within your timeframe.

I’m going to give you a typical attorney answer. “It depends.” There are several factors that go into the cost. So here are a few factors, and how they impact the overall cost of divorce mediation. Location: Because owning a law firm is a business and has to be run like one, factors such as location play into how we price our services. So if an attorney has offices in a more affluent part of town, where rents are higher that attorney may need to charge you a little bit more than another attorney in a different part of town, or another town over. An attorney's overhead is not just where his offices are but what's in them. If the attorney has a lot of staff, and pricey equipment (receptionists, paralegals, gold plated toilet, etc…) then that too could effect the pricing, because someone has to pay for all of that staff, (I’m looking at you) compared to another attorney with less overhead. The Attorney: The attorney’s experience and what they provide plays into the pricing. Usually the more experience an attorney has, and the longer they have been practicing, then their rates will reflect that and probably be higher than an attorney in the same field with a lot less experience. Additionally, some newly minted attorneys will charge really low rates to differentiate themselves from more experienced attorneys. The Client: You determine how much by how long it will take you to complete the mediation. Most attorneys charge at an hourly rate (We don’t. We'll talk about this later) so the longer the case is drawn out the more you pay. And if there is a lot of work done by the attorney outside of the mediation sessions (responding to your emails and calls) that can also increase your costs. Let’s consider what you will save by deciding to go with divorce mediation? You will save significantly more money over the cost of litigation because one attorney is cheaper than two. You will save lots and lots of time because divorce mediation is a shorter process than divorce litigation. Hearings, depositions, trials and the associated prep time are a couple examples of time sinks and money pits associated with litigation. But if that doesn’t convince you then consider the cost of something that’s priceless. You will save the peace of mind that comes with dealing with less stress from not battling through your divorce but instead working together, and not worrying about navigating the financial and legal hurdles that are part of your divorce by yourselves. Another question is “Who pays for the mediation?” The decision on who should pay for the mediation should be made between the mediating parties. You should discuss it and come to an agreement on how the fee’s should be shared. Most couples split the fees 50/50, but other arrangements can be made (like flipping a coin, or Rock, Scissors, Paper). Back to hourly vs. flat fee billing. We exclusively charge on a flat fee basis. One fee includes everything from start to finish. This allows us to focus on your case without worrying and wasting time tracking hours and invoicing you. With our flat fee pricing model, you don't have to worry about being nickel and dimed for every interaction with your attorney, so if you want to call or email me about your case there's no need to worry how much extra it is going to cost you, it's all included. Call or Visit our website to discuss your legal needs today, and to schedule a free consultation. The calls on you but the consultation is on us.

One popular misconception is that couples have to agree on everything before they begin divorce mediation. It’s not true. So let’s look at both scenarios. One where the couple comes in with agreements, and one where they can’t agree on anything. When couples come in with some, or a total agreement that’s great, and it definitely makes the mediation process easier, and shorter. “So what do we need you for?” In this scenario the mediator is still necessary for a couple of reasons. To ensure that the agreements that are formed comply with the law and court procedure, making them more likely to be approved at your final hearing. Yes, you are free to make any agreements you want, but the court, and the judge who has to review your final agreement have the final say. A good mediator will be familiar with the court that your divorce case is in, and familiar with the judges in that court. The last thing you want is to have your agreement not approved by the court. That would suck. It’s not the end of the world, but you will have to go back to the drawing board to make sure the agreement complies with the law and the court’s practices and procedures. On top of that you will also have to wait for another court date. So why not get it right, one time, the first time? A good mediator will also prepare all the other documents needed for your divorce, and, or review the ones you have prepared to ensure that there are no issues at your final hearing. Now what if you can’t agree (on Anything?) That’s OK too. A little more challenging but doable. Even at extreme scenarios where both spouses don’t agree on anything, there can still be agreement. “Really?” “Yup!” You agreed to get divorced. You agreed to seek mediation. You agreed you wanted to do it without confrontation, and fighting. You agree you both want to be fair. I bet you agree you both want what’s best for your kids. We could probably keep going and find some agreement in issues that are more substantial to the divorce. So you see, there is always a starting point. We can work from there. The old ways was let’s hire attorneys and see each other in court. That old way is not the best way. You know you better than anyone else and you are best equipped to come up with the solutions to the specific issues in your divorce. Agreement or not, we can work with every couple wherever they are starting from through divorce mediaiton.

There are several ways to go about getting a divorce. It used to be that you had to each hire an attorney and battle it out in court. Other alternative divorce methods have been introduces such as collaborative divorce and mediation. And of course there is DIY divorce where you and your spouse go it alone. I’ve probably talked about this before but I think it’s important to revisit because even though mediation in divorce is becoming more widespread there is still some misinformation about what mediation is, how its applied for divorce cases, and what's the role of the mediator. Mediation is known as assisted negotiations, or as I like to define it as assisted problem solving. Applied to divorce, mediation helps couple resolve all disputed issues that come up during a divorce (child support, custody of children, visitation, alimony, property division and debt division). Mediation is also useful in resolving issues after the divorce has been finalized such as modifications to the agreement that arise as life happens, and issues that come up when one party has not followed the orders that where entered at the time of divorce. The mediator’s role is to be a neutral third party, who assists the couple in identifying the issues that need to be resolved, and then helping them come up with solutions to those issues. Neutral (think Switzerland) meaning he does not work for or against any party’s interest. This is all done in private mediation sessions between the mediator and the couple. Each session is usually 90 minutest to 2 hours long. The number of sessions needed to complete the mediation depends on the parties and the issues involved. Divorce mediation can be done in as little a three, but it usually requires 4 or more sessions. The end product is a separation agreement. The mediator will draft your agreement, and review it with the parties, before it is signed. The final steps are preparing for the final hearing and contacting the court to schedule the final hearing. Key things to remember about divorce mediationare it's private. It’s voluntary. It's quicker and less expensive than a both of you hiring attorneys for the divorce. At  Success Mediation  weare attorney mediators who can assist you in every area of your divorce. We believe that a mediated agreement between the parties is in everybody's best interest and makes for a better life for everyone after the divorce has been finalized compared to litigation. Want to learn more about divorce mediation, our firm, or how my newest hobby learning to play golf is going? Then reach out to us by phone, email or visiting our website.

Filing and Fees

A couple can decide to get divorced for many reasons, including cheating, abuse, separation, or one or both of them just deciding that the marriage no longer works for them. During the divorce process parties often want to get their opportunity to tell what their spouse did to cause the marriage to come to an end. While it is important for divorcing parties to have an opportunity to state their peace during the divorce proceeding starting with what they allege on the divorce complaint, in practice it is rare that any specific reason is given for the breakdown of the marriage, and parties opt to just claim that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. There are nine fault ground that can be alleged in your divorce complaint. I won’t list them all here. The important thing to know is that when these grounds are alleged in the complaint, each element of the ground(s) has to be proven to the court’s satisfaction before the dissolution of marriage can be granted. If you allege adultery for instance and you cannot prove all of the elements of adultery then there is a chance your divorce won’t be granted. There is one other ground for divorce which is Irretrievable Breakdown. This is also known as the No-Fault ground, because you are not stating a specific reason or blaming one party for the breakdown of the marriage. It is a much simpler way to allege a cause for the breakdown over the previous nine fault grounds because it is much easier to prove. For this reason a dissolution is rarely denied alleging the no fault ground of irretrievable breakdown. Testimony of either party is sufficient to support a dissolution based on irretrievable breakdown. It only requires one party to assert irretrievable breakdown. The other party does not have to agree, and the other party can even believe that the marriage has not broken down, and can still be hoping for reconciliation, and the marriage can still be dissolved on one party’s allegation that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. In an uncontested divorce, parties will usually agree that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. If you insist on alleging a fault ground in your complaint then the best practice is to also allege the no fault ground as well. This way if you are unsuccessful proving the elements of the fault ground, the court can still grant the dissolution based on the no fault ground that you also alleged. In practice, fault grounds are rarely alleged when a complaint is prepared by an attorney, but that does not mean that the causes of a marriage’s breakdown are totally irrelevant. The court can also consider fault when making property and alimony orders. If the fault alleged was the cause of the breakdown of the marriage, then fault is a statutory factory that must be considered in making alimony and property orders, even if the divorce is being brought alleging a no fault ground. As important as what occurred, is when it occurred. Generally allegation that would be considered causes for the breakdown that happen after the marriage has broken down are not considered, and are irrelevant. At the least, the date of the complaint is the last date that is considered as the date the marriage broke down, because they parties allege as part of the complaint that the marriage has broken down. At  Success Mediation  we not only prepare you for the divorce hearing by helping you resolve your disputes, and preparing all documentation needed, but we also help you understand what to expect before, and at the final hearing, and prepare you for your life post divorce. Visit our website at gladstonelegal.net or give us a call so we can help you find a better way to get through your divorce, or for any of your family law needs.

For those of us with kids (me included) they bring so much joy into our lives, when they are not getting on our nerves. But we don’t hold that against them and we try our best to provide for them financially in every way. When a divorcing couple has kids involved they have to consider how that child will be taken care of financially during and after the divorce. Child support payments are a necessary topic that has to be addressed. To have a better understanding of this topic so you can better prepare and participate in your mediation here are some important things to note about child support orders. 1) Why are child support orders necessary? Well, there is the moral obligation that every parent undertakes when they have children. Additionally, child support orders are governed by statutory provisions, but the main reason for support orders are the court’s requirement that parents support their children, and that the amount of that support should be based on the parents respective abilities. 2) How does the court determine the correct amount of child support? Connecticut courts follow the Child Support Guidelines to determine the amount of support based on the combined net income of the parents, and other considerations. The reasoning behind using the guideline’s calculation method is to ensure the child support order is calculated in such a way that the child will still receive the same percentage of support from their parents that he or she would have received had the parents continued to live together as an intact family. The guidelines are also used to compute each parent’s share of the unreimbursed medical expenses and work related child care costs for each child, were applicable. Child support guidelines are considered in every child support determination, even when the court or parents decide to deviate from those amounts determined by the guidelines. 3) Who pays and how often? Generally parents are the only ones liable for child support. However, there are some rare circumstances in which other people may be liable for child support. Child support orders can be ordered as part of your marriage dissolution, your application for custody, or support petition. Child support is calculated on a weekly basis but other arrangements can be made such as payments made biweekly, or monthly. 4) Do you have to follow the child support guidelines? Yes, and No. At a minimum the, guidelines have to be used to calculate what the child support order should be. When the court (or parties by agreement) come up with an amount that is different than would be ordered according to the guidelines, that is considered a deviation. To justify a deviation the guidelines allow for certain deviation criteria including, but not limited to other financial resources of the parents, and or children. Whether the parent paying support has other dependent children who are not the subject of the current support order, and whether there is a shared physical custody arrangement. 5) What happens if your situation changes in the future? Child support orders are modifiable if there has been a substantial change in circumstances or a substantial deviation from the child support guidelines. If one of those situations occurs one of the parents would need file a motion for modification. 6) How long do I have to pay child support? Child support terminates when the child reaches 18, but if the child is still enrolled in high school it does not terminate until the child is no longer in high school (graduates or drops out), or when the child reaches age 19, whichever comes sooner. Our goal in mediation is to not only help you through your divorce, it is also to help create the best possible framework for your life after the divorce. One way of ensuring this is to make the best possible arrangements for the benefit of your children to keep their life as close to stable as it was before the divorce. By understanding child support you are better equipped to create support orders that can be in the best interest of you and your children during, and after the divorce.  Success Mediation  has helped couples navigate this area of their divorce to come up with the best solutions to the issue of child support. If you need help with your child support agreement or any other area as part of your divorce mediation, visit our website, give us a call , or email us.