Default Divorce: What Happens When Your Spouse is a No Show!
November 12, 2026
You are ready to file for divorce but your spouse refuses to participate. This could be because they think that if they refuse that you won’t be able to get a divorce, or they just don’t want to participate, or for many other reasons. Does that mean you can’t get divorced? Nope! It just means that you have to go through a few more steps than the regular divorce process, and ask the court for a Default Divorce Judgment.
If you played sports as a kid, it’s kind of like forfeiting a game. Because your spouse didn’t show up, after getting proper notice that you started divorce proceeding with the court, the court assumes they aren’t contesting the divorce (or else they would have shown up to contest it) so the court will enter the divorce judgment. A default judgment has the same legal effect as if they showed up, had a trial, and the court entered a judgment after the trial.
Normally, the divorce starts by one spouse serving (delivering) the Summons and Complaint to the other spouse. They respond. Then you both go to court with an agreement, or if you can’t agree then you have a trial. In Connecticut a responding spouse has 30 days from the Return Date to respond. If they don’t respond, then you can ask the court to enter judgment of divorce against the other party (your missing or reluctant spouse) because they did not appear and respond to the divorce. You would do this by filing a Motion for Entry of Default Judgment for Non-appearance. You also have to file a Military Affidavit. This is a document that you complete attesting to the court that your absentee spouse isn’t in the Military. This is important because a divorce typically can’t go forward when one souse is service in the military. The motion for default can be filed in 30 days from the return date if they were served in person, or by abode service (leaving at their home), or after 60 days for any other service type (like service by certified mail).
Our divorce mediation practice normally works with both spouses, but we can help one spouse get a default judgment if their spouse refuses to participate in the divorce process. If you are considering divorce and your spouse won’t participate, or you can’t locate them, then please call us at (203) 567-0903, or book an appointment at www.gladstonelegal.net for your free consultation.
When a couple begins divorce mediation, financial protection is often a top concern. Spouses may worry about money being removed from joint accounts, insurance being changed, credit cards being cancelled, property being transferred, new debt being created, or assets such as retirement and pension accounts being handled unfairly. In Connecticut, once a divorce is filed and served, Automatic Orders (Notice of Automatic Orders; JD-FM 158) take effect. These court orders prohibit either spouse from making unilateral decisions about assets, property, debts, insurance, or parenting matters. While they may not physically stop someone from acting improperly, they clearly state what is not allowed and create consequences for violations. For that reason, it is usually unwise to “prepare for divorce” by making one-sided financial or parenting decisions that could disadvantage the other spouse or disrupt the family’s normal arrangements. Before a divorce is filed, Automatic Orders do not yet apply. After filing, an aggrieved spouse may seek court relief, such as contempt or temporary orders. In mediation, many couples have not yet started the court process, so we review the Automatic Orders early and address any concerns or violations within the mediation process. If you are considering divorce and want to know whether Divorce Mediation is right for you, please call us or book an appointment at www.gladstonelegal.net
All of the work done during the divorce mediation is meant to get the couple to come to an agreement regarding the issues that have to be addressed as part of the divorce as determined by the Family Court in Connecticut. This agreement is summarized in the couple’s separation agreement. The benefit of working with an experienced divorce mediator is they know what specific items need to be covered in your separation agreement and what other documents need to be filed. We are out here crossing T’s and dotting I’s with the goal that the final paperwork that's filed with the court, will be approved the first time, and without the couple having to go to court later to get the divorce finalized. This is the ideal scenario. But sometimes the court rejects the couples request to get divorced, either because there was an issue with something that was filed. Usually that something is the separation agreement. So what do you do if this happens? First, don’t panic. It doesn’t mean that you and your spouse are stuck together and can’t get divorced. It just means that the mediator needs to review the court’s reason for the rejection, and then your divorce mediator needs to correct it. That leads us to two possible outcomes. Outcome 1: The mediator fixes the paperwork that was filed, or amends the separation agreement in line with the court’s concerns. Re-files the agreement, and asks the court to review the updated agreement (and or paperwork) and grant the divorce. Outcome 2: The couple may have to report to court either in person, or remotely via video to attend an uncontested hearing. In Connecticut, the judge will ask the couple about the agreement and will address the judge’s concerns or questions about the agreement. If addressed to the judge’s satisfaction, then the court will approve the agreement and then grant the divorce. So either way, the couple will still get divorced with their mediator’s help. That’s why it’s so important even when a couple already has an agreement prior to filing, that working with a divorce mediation attorney (instead of going it alone) can be so helpful as it gives the couple the greatest probability of their agreement being approved the first time, and or can guide them if things do go as planned. If you are planning to file for divorce and are considering divorce mediation, or if you are in the situation where your agreement was rejected and you need help, please contact the Law Office of N. Gladstone Brown and Success Mediation for an initial consultation.
There are three ways to end your marriage in Connecticut. Divorce (or Dissolution), Legal Separation, and Annulment. The most common is divorce. That is where the couple decides that they want to end the marriage because they have irreconcilable differences (fancy way of saying they can’t get along) or one or both spouses have committed one of the grounds for divorce. We’ll get into those in another blog. The process begins by one spouse filing a summons and complaint asking for a divorce. In addition to ending the marriage the couple asks the court to address other issues including dividing any assets, debts, figuring out alimony, parenting time and custody. You know, the fun stuff! The divorce can be finalized by the couple coming to an agreement known as an uncontested divorce or if they can’t agree on any or all of the divorce issues then they go to trial and the judge will divorce them after hearing both sides at the trial and issue a judgment addressing those unresolved divorce issues. If the couple meets certain requirements (married less than 9 years, no children, no retirement or pensions, no real estate) then they can get divorced quicker by filing a Non-adversarial divorce which requires the filing of some documents prepared jointly by the couple, filed with the court and if acceptable ruled on by the court resulting in a divorce in about 35 days without the couple having to go before a judge. Legal separation is the same as a divorce except that when it’s over the couple are still legally married. But the couple or court can deal with all of the issues that are addressed in a divorce. After the legal separation is granted the coupled can come back to court later to convert the legal separation to a dissolution of marriage. Finally, a (civil) annulment is the process by which a marriage is recognized by a state court as being void or voidable due to some statutory or common law ground at the time of marriage. A marriage can be annulled in Connecticut for a number of reasons, including: Blood relation: Marriages between close relatives, such as siblings, parents and children, or stepparents and stepchildren, are not legal Bigamy: Marrying someone while already married to another person is illegal Age: A marriage is invalid if one spouse was under the age of consent Mental incompetence: One or both spouses must have the mental capacity to consent to the marriage Health issues: If one spouse fails to disclose a relevant health issue, such as impotence, before the wedding Fraud or duress: If one spouse was tricked or coerced into the marriage Legal defects: If the marriage ceremony was performed by someone who was not authorized or the couple did not have a valid marriage license Concealment: If one spouse conceals a significant aspect of their identity, such as a prior marriage or criminal history Unlike a divorce or legal separation where you don’t have to assert or prove any grounds for divorce, for the court to grant the annulment one spouse has to allege and prove one or more of the statutory or common law grounds. Couples can also get a religious annulment but that has no legal authority to terminate the marriage. We can discuss which option is best depending on your circumstances and goals, and help you through each process. Please contact us to scheduled a consultation to discuss your situation.
So you and your spouse have made the tough decision that you want to get divorced, but that’s all that you’ve decided (because now you’re not speaking to each other). You’re proactive so you look into some options to get divorced and you come across a handsome attorney’s website that offers divorce mediation. After checking out the website you think divorce mediation will be the best option for you and your spouse. You tell your spouse that you want to set up a consultation for the two of you, but your spouse doesn’t want to come or participate. Now what? It’s definitely preferred that both spouses attend the initial consultation so they can both get an idea of the process, meet the mediator, and have enough information to jointly decide if divorce mediation is right for them. The mediator also needs to evaluate both parties. So in order for the divorce mediation to proceed both parties have to be on board. But, I have had situations where only one spouse attends the initial consultation. It’s not the end of the world. In those instances, the information that is provided during the consultation is relayed to the other spouse and I’ve also let them know that if they have any questions they can reach out to me directly to help them make a decision. Ultimately, if your spouse doesn’t want to participate in the divorce mediation, but you still want to get divorced then one spouse would need to file for the divorce with the court to start the divorce case. From there they have a couple of options: (1) they can represent themselves, (2)hire an attorney, or (3) get limited scope representation. Limited Scope Representation involves the attorney acting like a coach and consultant helping one spouse through each step in the divorce process that they agree to have the attorney help them with. It can be as little as preparing the paperwork to file with the divorce to start the divorce, and/or include preparing and responding to discovery, completing financial affidavits, filing motions for orders, prepping for hearings, and prepping for the final trial, or preparing the final agreement if the couple settle. Our office offers limited scope representation for spouses who are representing themselves but still need some help from an attorney. The Limited Scope Representation model is a great option for controlling the costs associated with a contested divorce. If you are considering alternatives to going it alone and representing yourself, then please give us a call to discuss how Limited Scope Representation can help you navigate the divorce process.
How long will it take to get divorced when using divorce mediation? Divorce mediation is a quicker path to get divorced, and if time is an important factor then you should consider divorce mediation. Once you have started the mediation these are the timeframes you can expect. Each session is about 90 minutest to 2 hours long, max. Trust me, after 2 hours everybody including me are ready to go. Depending on the issues involved, and the parties, they need anywhere from three to six sessions to complete the mediation, reserving the final two sessions for reviewing the agreement, and then signatures, and preparing for the final hearing. But back to the question at hand. How quickly can you get divorced? Well it’s really up to you, and the court. Up to you because the pace that the sessions are scheduled is up to the parties and the mediator’s schedule. They can be scheduled days apart, weeks apart or months apart. It's up to the court because once you file for divorce with the court there is a statutory 90 day waiting period that starts counting from your return date. The return date is the name that the court uses as the divorce start date. So normally at the earliest you can’t get divorced until after the 90 day waiting period. But there is a procedure where if you have an agreement, and if all of your stuff is in order, you can ask the court to waive that 90 day waiting period and get your final hearing date scheduled ASAP. Rome was not built in a day, but you could get divorced in one. Don't believe me, I'll show you. So a couple can walk into the court’s clerk’s office to file their paperwork to start the divorce. Additionally they can request the waiver of the 90 day waiting period. If they have all of the necessary paperwork completed, and the judge grants the waiver than they are ready to get a divorce. If the court could accommodate them that day, then they can get divorced. I bet you didn't believe me. Now, normally, it takes a little more time to get your final date after that waiver is granted depending on the court’s availability, but just know that having an agreement ready and all of your T's crossed and I's dotted gives you the opportunity to expedite your divorce. What I want you to take away is that divorce mediation is: Almost always quicker than litigation. No waiting all day for a hearing to be heard. No wasted time preparing for hearings, depositions, and trials. The pace of divorce mediation is really up to the parties. It can go as fast or as slow as you want. If you wait to complete the mediation before filing for divorce that’s the best scenario because there are procedures in place where you can request an immediate hearing date. But don't worry if you start mediation after you have filed for divorce your mediator can still work within your timeframe.
I’m going to give you a typical attorney answer. “It depends.” There are several factors that go into the cost. So here are a few factors, and how they impact the overall cost of divorce mediation. Location: Because owning a law firm is a business and has to be run like one, factors such as location play into how we price our services. So if an attorney has offices in a more affluent part of town, where rents are higher that attorney may need to charge you a little bit more than another attorney in a different part of town, or another town over. An attorney's overhead is not just where his offices are but what's in them. If the attorney has a lot of staff, and pricey equipment (receptionists, paralegals, gold plated toilet, etc…) then that too could effect the pricing, because someone has to pay for all of that staff, (I’m looking at you) compared to another attorney with less overhead. The Attorney: The attorney’s experience and what they provide plays into the pricing. Usually the more experience an attorney has, and the longer they have been practicing, then their rates will reflect that and probably be higher than an attorney in the same field with a lot less experience. Additionally, some newly minted attorneys will charge really low rates to differentiate themselves from more experienced attorneys. The Client: You determine how much by how long it will take you to complete the mediation. Most attorneys charge at an hourly rate (We don’t. We'll talk about this later) so the longer the case is drawn out the more you pay. And if there is a lot of work done by the attorney outside of the mediation sessions (responding to your emails and calls) that can also increase your costs. Let’s consider what you will save by deciding to go with divorce mediation? You will save significantly more money over the cost of litigation because one attorney is cheaper than two. You will save lots and lots of time because divorce mediation is a shorter process than divorce litigation. Hearings, depositions, trials and the associated prep time are a couple examples of time sinks and money pits associated with litigation. But if that doesn’t convince you then consider the cost of something that’s priceless. You will save the peace of mind that comes with dealing with less stress from not battling through your divorce but instead working together, and not worrying about navigating the financial and legal hurdles that are part of your divorce by yourselves. Another question is “Who pays for the mediation?” The decision on who should pay for the mediation should be made between the mediating parties. You should discuss it and come to an agreement on how the fee’s should be shared. Most couples split the fees 50/50, but other arrangements can be made (like flipping a coin, or Rock, Scissors, Paper). Back to hourly vs. flat fee billing. We exclusively charge on a flat fee basis. One fee includes everything from start to finish. This allows us to focus on your case without worrying and wasting time tracking hours and invoicing you. With our flat fee pricing model, you don't have to worry about being nickel and dimed for every interaction with your attorney, so if you want to call or email me about your case there's no need to worry how much extra it is going to cost you, it's all included. Call or Visit our website to discuss your legal needs today, and to schedule a free consultation. The calls on you but the consultation is on us.
